Nice and Easy, Japanesey

Coffee and Cigarettes increase fitness, mental and moral fitness that is...

(Right: In a cultural exchange program, a GRC member
travled to Japan where he bought this
cigarette/coffee power-pack

Beyond the pillars of PowerAid and Gatoraid, there are an increasing amount of health-water/ active life style beverage clones in the market place. A must buy, from soccer moms to would be bodybuilders, and those weight obsessed runners, performance-water is a big industry. Though tiger and Jordan are convincing, the science behind these products is mostly poppycock. The widespread existence of this product is not the result of demand, but a manufactured need created by beverage companies who needed a cash-cow to replace the dwindling profits of their soda products. As people have realized they cannot drink RC cola for breakfast lunch and dinner, the more health-conscious consumer has started buying soda at a decreasing rate. To fill this void in revenues, your big drink companies introduced and convinced buyers that they need performance beverages to be better athletes.

Well, The GRC does not buy into the narrative that spending $2.00 on crystal light will make us like tiger woods, or our buying behavior will convince our competition that we are serious athletes and really quite formidable opponents.

Certainly, foods and drinks can make you a better athlete, take for example PopEye had his spinach. In Popeye's case, this relationship between substance and performance needs to be dissected to be fully understood. Popeye's relationship with his spinach is twofold, and it is within this distinction that the GRC has rejected performance-water and become more mindful tennis players. To flesh out the comparison, everyone must admit that substantively, spinach is objectively healthy. The second key part of this relationship, and where the performance-beverage consumer differs, is that Popeye's conception of what spinach does for him is truthful, as it is proportional to its objective qualities.

Now, the GRC's coffee and cigarettes are a performance-based 180 degrees from a healthy drink. And for all its flaws, even this auteur realizes that PowerAid is a million times more healthy than this Japanese product pairing. Yet, by consciously embracing coffee and cigarettes as absolutely unhealthy, the GRC has embraced their de-performance substances through a brand of nihilism that is more honest, raw and carcinogenly-pure than any disproportionally marketed fitness water. We know this Japanese pairing is not good, but embrace it in truth and therefore have a more healthy relationship with what we consume than those convinced a water will make them disproportionally better. Our conscious choice, albeit bad, is better than a concocted choice imposed on consumers by the ad-wizards who need a stop gap for their falling soft-drink sales.

Arbitrarily, in terms of numbers, lets look at this comparison graphically. Let us assume that cigarettes and coffee will objectively have the worst possible effect on athleticism, or a -10 on a scale from -10 to 10. From it sports star-packed ads, lets assume that a Sports beverage will have the best possible effect on your athleticism.

Idealization/Actualization Disparity

Now, everyone knows that coffee and cigarettes have a negative impact on their play much in line with their actual effect. In conception and actuality cigarettes and coffee are -10 influences on athleticism. On the other hand, Sports drinks will make you play better, but not by the factor that we have been led to believe. Giving the actual effect of a sports beverage on athleticism a positive five value, recognizes its positive qualities in contrast to the far more negative Japanese combo. A value neutral quotient of the effect and perceived effect on athleticism for both the categories reveals that in understanding:

for the beverage: 5(actual benefit) / 10(perceived benefit)= .5
For coffee and cigarettes: -10 (actual benefit) / -10(percieved benefit)= 1

1 is the least inflated quotient and more true than the disparity represented in .5 even if produced by negative parts.

This pairing may have made the GRC not the nicest players at the courts, but it just may have also made us the best, for as the protagonist in A Clockwork Orange is reminded in his dilemma of choice, that ," It may not be nice to be good, Is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon him?".
In conclusion, Popeye in all his honesty and truth would be more likely to drink coffee and smoke a cigarette than drink vitamin water during a tennis match.

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